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Post by darealcalzone on Feb 27, 2017 13:26:34 GMT -4
Hello friends. I'd like to share a news article that may be of interest to you.
Cordially,
DarealCalzone
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NEW YORK, NY - In a corporate upset that may go down in history as the most unexpected merger of all time, BlueCorp (NYX: BCP) announced today that it will absorb rival company, eSwap (TSE: ESW). The merger, which business insiders called "shocking", "profoundly cerebral", and "something to write home to mom about", will be complete within a matter of months, according to BlueCorp spokesperson John D. Calzone.
"One of BlueCorp's mottos has always been 'The futility of opposition for a better tomorrow'," Calzone said yesterday at a press conference held in Tacoma. "We at BlueCorp see this exciting merger as a natural continuation of our corporate dominance and unrelenting force in the business world."
Some risky business ventures and a high executive turnover had left eSwap in a precarious position in recent years. For example, the company notoriously invested high amounts of money into internet message boards such as Proboards, even when it was clear that such websites were on the out as the rise of social media became clear.
"Message boards are the future!" Yelled former eSwap CEO Brandon Jhon when questioned by reporters about this strategy. "In the future, all of our communications will take place in threads on designated boards, for anyone to see! E-mail and text messages will be a thing of the past. Anyone who disagrees is blind to the truth!" Jhon was ousted shortly afterwards in what can only be described as a corporate coup.
In addition to the message board blunder, which returned stunning losses, eSwap is also notable for having invested heavily in the glassware industry - which was, of course, a huge mistake. Glassware stores now lie boarded up and empty across the nation, as Americans failed to catch on to the glassware craze.
Time will tell what BlueCorp's plans for eSwap's remaining assets are, and how eSwap competitors - such as SinSwap - will react to the news of the merger.
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Brandon Jhon
New Member
I do not feel my gender needs to be disclosed at this time
Posts: 16 
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Post by Brandon Jhon on Feb 27, 2017 15:12:52 GMT -4
Oh, myself as a Chief Executive Officer. What an intriguing fantasy, even if it does end poorly.
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